Title: There’s Always a Sneer in Vegas (89/90?)

[stillrose]

Title: There’s Always a Sneer in Vegas (89/90?)

Fandom: BTVS; Spike/Xander

Warnings: Slash,AU, Post Apocalyptic, violence,non-con, slavery, tentacles,

Rating: NC-17

Summary: It’s been seven years since Angelus killed Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Seven years after Angelus opened a portal to hell on Earth. Humans are food, slaves or on the run. There’s hope only in small band of resistance fighters. However, that’s a hope Xander Harris no longer has. It’s been six months since he was taken in a raid. At first Xander thought he was lucky the demons didn’t know who he was; but then that was before he became property to an Azora demon.

As always: Feedback makes my heart go pitter-patter.

UNBETAED

Previous parts here.

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Xander blinked and then fell away into a blissful deep sleep. Spike held him and watched him savoring the sound of each breath and steady beat of his heart until he knew that it hadn’t been moments but hours. Then he took a deep unneeded breath. He leaned close and whispered something against the white gold collar gleaming against Xander’s neck. There was a click as it opened and fell away on to the sleeping bags.

“I give ya my permission ta go as far away from me as you will and for as long as ya desire,” Spike whispered as he ghosted a kiss behind Xander’s ear.

With his vision growing blurry he placed a final kiss on the tip of Xander’s nose before he gently let Xander go.
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Xander groaned as he stretched his way to consciousness. He felt drained. He literally felt drained.

“I think somebody overdid it on the nummy treats,” he mumbled as he forced his eyes open. He blinked. He was used to waking up to see a perfectly chiseled chest, marred only by a silver and black pearl nipple ring, or a set of impossibly blue eyes. He saw neither. He pushed himself up on his hands and looked around.

“Spike?” he croaked past his dry throat. The vampire didn’t answer nor was he in view.

“Spike!” Xander called a little louder sitting up fully growing more alert his heart beginning to pound in his chest.  “Sp...Master..?

He’s gone to get breakfast in bed, right? Xander thought as he began to dig out of the nest of sleeping bags. Master Romantic, right?

He stood up and heard a dull “ting” as something metallic fell to the floor. Xander hunched down and swept the ground with his eyes until they were caught by something shining faintly underneath the lantern light. Air caught in his throat so fast his chest burned and his eyes watered.

With a shaking hand he reached out and picked up the cold gold collar; his collar.

“SPIKE!” he yelled the shaking spreading through his body even as he forced himself to stand up. He surveyed the little alcove they shared again. Spike’s clothes were gone. Spike’s boots were gone. Spike’s coat was gone. All that was left was a small familiar book.

“Xander?” Willow called from just outside the entrance her voice edged in concern.

“Wills..” Xander cried turning toward her his collar clenched in his fist.

Willow rushed ignoring Xander’s state of undress. She gasped. Xander was pale, wide-eyed and trembling. She rushed forward and reached for friend but halted when he flinched.

“Where...where is he?” Xander forced the words out past the painful tightness in his chest.

“Gone,” Willow answered in confusion. “He left a little while ago. Lorne came to pick him up in one those special cars from Vegas. I thought you knew. He said to let you sleep. That it had been worked out. You were free to go.”

Free to go? Free..Xander tried to process Willow’s words. He looked down at the collar clutched in his hands. Masters only removed the collars unless they were going to kill or sell..but..

“I don’t..” Xander whispered looking back to Willow his vision blurry and his breathe still stuck painfully in his chest. “He claimed me. I…”

He left me? the stunned and confused man thought.

“Xander, are you...I mean,” Willow paled a terrible cruel thought curling in her mind she reached for him again. “Xander are you Ok?”

I don’t..was it all a lie?Just one more plan? Is it a test? Be a good Pe and don’t question! Xander’s mind whirled as his knees buckled underneath him and he fell into the nest of soft sleeping materials again. The collar was still clutched in his hand.

“XANDER!” Willow cried dropping down to her knees beside him.

“He told me..it was forever,,” Xander whispered. “I can't leave him but he’d left me.”

“Xander, please you're scaring me. Are you...what do you need?”

I need Spike, Xander thought. I need to know what to do. I need…

He looked again at Willow her eyes bright with tears and fear.

“Free? What does that mean, Willow? What does that even mean? Bottles don't get to be free. Pets? Do Pets? I thought he loved me. Did he love me or was it just another...?

Like Lorne...like Larry...just needed my reactions, he wondered.

“Free?” he muttered trying to process what she was trying to say why his very understanding of the world was crumbling all around him.

Unable to resist any more and damn demon rules anyway Willow surged forward and wrapped her arms around her best friend. She pulled him close and held him.

He didn’t fight her. He didn’t flinch. He just raised his hand to stare at the open collar. He shivered. Hadn’t he been a good Pet?

“It means you can go home, Xander,” Willow said fiercely deciding that he never had to see Spike again no matter what claim the vampire had on him. “It means you can come home.”

Home? Xander thought his mind flashing to a penthouse suite in Vegas, a grey striped kitten, a floppy eared demon reading comics, and the comforting arms of a vampire who had held him safe through every nightmare.

Home? To be free to live with Dawnie and Willow again? Free? Free to go home? To be human? he thought as a sob caught in his throat and suddenly his arms moved to wrap around Willow in return. Is that what it meant?

“Home,” he cried softly pulling Willow tighter to him. “Home with you and Dawnie?”

Hadn't that once been his dream? Hadn't that been what he’d wanted once before his voice had been stolen, before he had been made just a thing and before he had been won by Spike?

Before I’d been claimed by Spike, Xander thought. Before he said he lov…

“Home?” he whispered again.

“Yes, Xander,” Willow said tears freely flowing down her cheeks as the fear and suspicion inside of her started to let go.

“Home,” Xander sobbed as he began to openly weep buffeted by an overwhelming combination of emotions relief, hope, confusion and terrible loss.

***

The resistance only stayed in the tunnels a few more days after Spike’s departure. They stayed long enough to be sure Angel was well enough to be left on his own and to coordinate were their new post-apocalypse base.

Those days were a blur for Xander. There were times he remembered helping pack up supplies, burning papers and teasing the girls. There were also long hours where he knelt silently amongst the sleeping bags in his little alcove staring at his collar as if he was waiting for something or someone.

He never spoke to Angel nor asked about him. Though he heard enough of gossip around the camp to know the re-souled vampire, while taking brooding to a whole new depth, had not talked anymore about being buried in the desert. Instead he became like a ghost helping unseen where he could while noting where the worst of the demon holdouts were according to intelligence.

One evening while returning to the tunnels Xander had passed the quiet vampire. For a moment they’d both frozen and locked gazes. Xander had swallowed fighting a sudden and nearly overwhelming urge to drop to his knees. Angel’s eyes had widened. Then the urge had passed and Xander growled as he turned and stormed away until the lights of the camp were far behind him. He had sat out in the desert watching the stars the rest of the night. In the morning when he’d returned he’d heard Angel had left for good.

Now it was the last morning. The last day before they were heading out to their new “home,” San Bernardino, California. Xander was packed and ready. He was up before dawn and once again sitting out under the desert sky this time watching as the night receded against the early rays of the rising sun.

He watched the shine from those rays reflecting slightly off the gold collar he held loosely in his hands. The soft crunch of shifting earth alerted him that he wasn’t alone. He turned to look behind him to see Tara walking towards him. Her long hair was draped around her shoulders and over a shaw she had wrapped tight against the desert morning chill.

“M..May I join you?” she asked with a soft smile. Xander nodded then looked back to the east to watch the sky grow brighter.

She settled beside him close enough so he could feel the warm human heat radiating from her. He smiled as they sat in companionable silence.

“Do you think it was ever real?” he asked as he watched the edge of the sun creep over the far horizon. “I mean do you think it was just another one of his plans? You think that’s why he did it? He didn’t need me anymore?”

“I..I think it matters what you think,” Tara’s said her gaze drinking in the morning light.

“Of course it was one of his plans,” Xander snorted. “Just…the last move. One more I didn’t see coming.”

“So you d..don’t think it was real?”

“That he loved me? That….” Xander shrugged.

“There’s an old saying,” Tara began. “If you l..love something set it f..free..”

“See..see that!” Xander said interrupting the witch and turning to look at her, “see I don’t know if I want that. I mean on so many different levels it’s like the Donkey Kong of levels.”

Tara turned to him. She smiled while arching an eyebrow.

“I mean one,” Xander said holding up a finger. “Whether or not he loved me I’m not an ‘it’ that you can just set free. Ok..maybe in the demon world of the After that was before the now which is the after of the after from the Before but I’m not an ‘it,’ Tara and I may have been Spike’s Pet but he never treated me like I was an ‘it’ so why start now? Unless this was just another time he just needed my..unless once again my reactions were just a cover.”

Tara arched her other eyebrow.

“Two, he can’t just set me ‘free’ he claimed me. I’m bound to him. I mean yeah, ok so apparently he’s made with the demonic permission slip letting me be apart from him but that doesn’t change that I willingly submitted myself to being bound to him.”

Tara tucked a strand of long honey colored hair behind her ear.

“It doesn’t change that I,” Xander sighed and looked back at the sun. “I dream about him every night, Tara. Sometimes I cling to the sleeping bags and breathe deep just trying to smell him...and can I just say how ‘eww’ that makes me feel on one level and all happy Xander on another?”

He looked back at her. She smiled.

“Told you, Donkey Kong levels,” her returned the smile then looked away again. “And I hate it, you know, that I want him. That I wake up...and he’s not there.”

He shook his head.

“I mean, I’m free, Tara! I’m free! I don’t have to wait for permission to speak. I don’t have to have ‘Blondie’s By Your Leave’ to hug Willow or Dawnie. I can wear clothes anytime I want and not just as a reward or to keep hidden something that’s his!”

She scratched an itch at the end of her nose.

“And feeding myself? Oh! Yep..no more making with the finger food porn part of my daily diet!”

He looked down at the collar in his hand.

“I once told him that when all over I was going to pawn this,” his voice growing quieter as he looked  back at her, “that I could get a pretty good price for it. I can you know? I can pawn it!”

She nodded.

He looked back at it and gently rubbed his thumbs over it.

“When he first won me,” Xander snorted and looked at the sun continuing to rise higher defying the darkness. “Won me, Tara. He won me in a poker game as of the pot. That night he took me up to his suite. He knew who I was. He remembered.”

He took a deep breath. Then let it out again.

“He took my old leather collar off. Threw it in the corner. I knew...I knew it meant he was going to drain me. He was finally going to get back at those pesky kids,” he said biting his lip.

“I was so far gone, Tara. I was so well...trained,” he spat the last word. “I couldn’t move. Wouldn’t move. Not even when I thought I was going to die. In fact, I was welcoming it. Happy for it and I was grateful, Tara. Grateful I was at least getting a look at the night sky again after all that time in the Vaults. One last look before I died.”

He swallowed the memories of that first night flooding back.

“From the very start he..he started to break me of that you know?” he continued. “He pushed...literally prodded.”

A flush accompanied by a small smile spread across his cheeks.

“He..poked and prodded until I wasn’t just a still silent bottle any more,” Xander sighed. “Instead he started to make me his Pet and that being his Pet, eventually even being his pet with a little ‘p’ and then even eventually convinced me to accept his Claim.Tara, it was all so much better than being a b..bottle!”

He looked back at her. She reached out a hand to cover one of his.

“Do you know why I decided to accept his claim?”

She shook her head.

“I realized everything hadn't been taken from me, Tara. The only thing left for the demons to play perverted patty-cake with was my soul and I was so tired of the violate the Xanman game. I knew if I accepted Spike’s claim at least...at least I was the one deciding how the demon world was going to get it and which one got to play with it.”

Guess that's how all the best relationships start in a demon apocalypse,” he said twisting the collar in his hands. He sighed, “I know if you love something set it free, Tara. And I know if it comes back it's yours…”

“And if it doesn’t it never was,” she quietly finishes for him when he falls silent.

“But I am,” he whispers. “I am his on so many of those Donkey Kong levels.”

“Do you want to be?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly turning to look back into her eyes. “I didn’t think that was my choice any more..and if it is I don’t know if a ‘free’ me wants to.”

“Then maybe th..that’s why he did it,” she says squeezing his hand. “I think m..maybe he wanted to give you a choice and a chance to figure out what you, not the bottle, the Pet or even the Claimant, but you the f..free you wants.”

“But how do I do that now?” Xander asked before looking back to horizon. “I don't understand the rules anymore. I’m not even sure I know what I am anymore. What if I get it wrong?”

“Give yourself t..time, Xander. You can do that now,” Tara answered.

Then she moved in closer until she was pressed next to him. She laid her head gently on his shoulder and watched a new day finally arrive.

                                                                 ***

“Oi! I will wrap your entrails around yer neck and throw ya back to the hell dimension ya came from,” Spike warned his cunning and quick adversary.

Yellow green eyes narrowed. A slender leg slowly crept forward with claws slightly to the ready.

“Last warning,” Spike growled.

Quick as any hellspawn the vampire had ever seen the sleek grey tabby struck swiping the crystal tumbler half full of whiskey off the bar sending it crashing to the floor.

“LORNE!” Spike roared as the cat flipped it’s long striped tail in the vampire’s general direction before quickly and gracefully exiting from the scene of the crime.

“LORNE!” Spike roared again stomping towards the bar and the mess.

“Honestly, lemon drop,” the green demon said entering the suite, “do you think I just loiter all day outside your door waiting for your bellow.”

“Take that creature,” Spike said ignoring Lorne’s commentary and pointing to the cat strutting its way over to the pillow by Spike’s chair, “and stake it out for the coyotes!”

“No,” Lorne said calmly stepping around the vampire and the bar to grab some paper towels.

“No?” Spike growled.

“No,” Lorne said bending down to begin gingerly mop up the spilled whiskey while carefully avoiding the broken glass.

“And...do you care ta explain why ya said ‘no,’” Spike asked while pouring another drink, “before I have you staked out for the coyotes?”

“Because, lemon pie,” Lorne said standing up tossing the soggy towels into the trash bin and leaving the rest for the minions to cleanup, “last time you asked me to feed Ante to the Primals and I made it as far as the elevator before you called me to bring him back. The time before that, you asked me to find a wood chipper for him, and I made it as far as the ground floor. I doubt I’ll make it past the suite door this time.”

“Oi!” Spike shouted.

“Face it. Ante could start a second apocalypse and you would do nothing more than take his tuna away for a week,” Lorne said looking over at the cat who was sitting on the pillow and running its tongue over the inside of its left paw.

“Would to,” Spike muttered around his drink. “Might take it away for two weeks.”

Lorne smiled softly. In the last six months there were few things in Vegas which seemed to cheer the master vampire, and whether he would ever admit it or not, the green demon knew the grey tabby who’d taken up residence with him was one of them.

Though Ante had not welcomed Spike back to the city with welcome paws, more like welcome claws, they’d come to an uneasy truce. During the three weeks while Spike had stayed in the desert with the resistance waiting for the ritual to resoul Angelus, Lorne had had the job of readying Vegas for Spike’s return.

It had gone mostly smooth. He’d found an unexpected and more than capable ally in the young teen, Connor who’d help lead the defense of the stable on Clem’s behalf. Angelus’ forces had never breached the stables defenses and as they’d retreated Connor had taken point to help clear the city of any stragglers. Lorne was sure he gave the order, just couldn’t remember in the confusion. At least that was the Pylean’s story and he was sticking to it.

Between Lorne’s social skills, Clem’s people’s skills and Connor’s fists the three had managed to bring the city into some semblance of order by the time Spike had signaled he was ready to return. Only the return hadn’t been what the green demon had expected.

It was an afternoon pickup with a slightly smoking Spike diving into the truck sans Xander.

“Drive,” was the only thing the vampire had said.

When they’d reached the city he’d gone straight to the arenas taunting any and all to a deathmatch. They could have Vegas if they won. He’d carried on like that for three nights before Lorne had shut the arenas down.

Then the vampire had locked himself away in the suite for days drinking and smoking until once again Lorne had interfered. This time he’d brought Clem, Connor and several thermoses of heated blood. Spike had come out swinging. It took a little effort but Connor eventually managed to put the drunken, weakened and angry Spike on the floor.

That’s when Ante had snuck into the suite. As usual he’d hissed and swatted at seeing Spike but then began walking and sniffing around the apartment. Spike had growled at the cat as it went room from room. Then Ante began to let out long plaintive meows.

“Shut it!” Spike had shouted.

The cat had ignored him and continued its sweep of the suite continuing its meows.

“Quiet!” Spike had roared.

The cat had just flicked its tail and flattened its ears but continued to cry.Then it had crawled up on to the pillow by Spike’s chair, Xander’s pillow. It had settled down into a kitty-loaf position wrapping its long tail around its body. Then Ante had just stared at Spike.

Lorne had known then what was coming next. Somehow, and as quickly as he could, he’d gotten Clem and Connor out of the suite. As the door had closed behind them Spike let out the first of many broken sobs. That night Spike had told Lorne how he’d let Xander go.

“..the Luxor?” Spike’s voice interrupted Lorne’s thoughts.

“Hmm?” Lorne asked focusing back on the present.

“How’d things go at the Luxor? Wankers gettin’ the idea it’s a human safety zone?”

“Clem has things well in hand.”

“And when you say, Clem you mean Connor,” Spike said taking his drink back to his chair.

Connor might wear Clem’s collar but anyone with any sense, including sense of survival, knew Connor was no one’s slave but he was loyal to and very fond of the saggy skinned demon.

“He is an exceptional young man,” Lorne said fixing his own drink. “Still can’t believe his father is Ang..”

“Oi!” Spike warned. “Said we were only talkin’ about that the once. Gives me a headache.”

“Lemon drop..”

“Its enough we know who he is and where he came from.”

“Really?He’s..well you know who he is and he survived growing up in an outer hell dimension with just one lone human raising him and now he helps keep things running smooth in your city and you don’t want to talk about it?,” Lorne  asked taking a seat at the bar.

“Wot I said innit it?” Spike growled.


“But..”

“Ah!” Spike snorted raising a finger. “Some day that’s something for him, Linds and the Poofter to work out but not now. Not when we finally convinced him not to go after Peaches.”

“Only as long as he thinks he still has some moves to learn from you.”

“And that’s why I ain’t in a hurry ta teach him everything I know,” Spike said looking at Lorne. “Speaking of my grand-sourpuss?”

“There were some rumors of a sighting out in Kansas. Story was he had a pair of hunters, brothers, on his tail. Good pair I hear. Word is they kept a lot of people alive during the fall. Interesting taste in cars,” said before sipping at his drink.

Spike arched an eyebrow.

“Impala. Black. Sixty-seven I think.”

No DeSoto, Spike sniffed.

“Report on the new arrivals?” Spike asked changing the subject before swigging whiskey from his glass.

“Four of the five applicants were legitimate bonds,” Lorne said. “The human or humans in question really did want to stay with their respective demons, vampire, etc The demons have been referred over to HR for job and housing opportunities.”

“The fifth applicant?”

“Demon sent to the arenas and human set free and given a bus ticket to San Bernardino with the standard ‘So You’ve Been a Demon Slave’ recovery pamphlets.”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “That’s a little glib.”

“Well, sometimes I really don’t know what else to call it,” Lorne sighed tiredly before downing his drink.

“Damnit, Green Bean I thought I told ya to lay off the applicant reading for awhile,” Spike growled softly. “Let Numfar…”

“Spike, you know Numfar is already backlogged with petitions for certifications on pre-existing relationships let alone trying to keep up with the influx of immigrants to the city. The faster those petitions get processed the less grumbling…”

“I like the grumbling..”

“You like the fights caused by the grumbling,” Lorne corrected.

“And wot of it?”

“They won’t bring him back.”

Spike hissed.

“Spike..lemon drop,” Lorne started putting his empty glass back on the bar.

“I don’t want to hear it,” the vampire said.

“He’s still in San Bernardino,” Lorne continued softly.

“I told you I don’t want to hear it,” Spike said turning to face Lorne his eyes rimmed with gold.

“If that were true, lemon drop, you wouldn’t have me keep tabs on him.”

Spike looked away.

“Still living with the witches and Nibblet?” he finally asked as he held out his empty glass for a refill.

“Yes,” Lorne said standing up and grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the bar.

“No..no one,” Spike tried to ask a question he didn’t really want answered.

“Nothing new,” Lorne said filling the vampire’s glass half full. “Just those few dates a couple of months ago with that ex-vengeance demon, Anya. Word is their friends but nothing more.”

Spike drained the drink while the demon raged at the thought of another demon, even a former one, romancing Xander.

“He..he isn’t..? He’s ya know..?”

“Spike,” Lorne said placing a hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “I can’t read him from reports. I don’t know if he’s happy or not. All I can tell you is that he’s living with the people he loved most in the world before it went to hell. He has a job which suits him. Construction work lets him be outside in the sun all day building things and helping people. He’s doing what you gave him the chance to do. He’s living a normal human life.”

Pain lanced through both Spike’s soul and demon. In all his scheming and planning he’d never thought to find Xander. He never thought the human pawn in his grand game would be the gangly boy from Sunnydale all grown up into a man both his soul and demon craved. He never thought he’d fall in love with his Claimant. He never really thought it all the way through what it would cost him if he beat Angelus not until the moment he’d realized Angel’s soul was back and he had truly won.

That’s when he knew. That’s when he’d understood that he’d had to let Xander go.

“If you had done anything else..,” Lorne said softly.

“Then he would have stayed my Pet,” Spike finished staring off into the bottom of his glass.

TBC